Funny Stories

Here are some funny stories that I picked up from a Camp that I went to last week.

Here they are:

Party

One Saturday night at a guy’s home, there was a really big party there were more than 50 people there. 
Around midnight the owner of the property said “I’ll give one million dollars to whoever jumps into the pool with the crocodile in it and wrestle it, and come back out of the pool alive” when he was still saying this he heard a splash. 
When he turned around there was a guy in the pool wrestling for his life, it was so cool. 
The crowd was cheering for him, finally the guy came out still in one piece, it was so amazing that the guy beat the crocodile. 

The owner came up to the guy and said “I’ll keep to my word and give you the million” 

“I don’t want it” said the guy the owner said “I will give you half a million then”  

“I don’t want any money” 

“Then what do you want” 
"I want the drop kick that pushed me in"

 

The Very Bad Conductor

There was once a very bad bus conductor. This conductor was so bad at doing his job that people missed their stations, he brought the wrong tickets for people, and those people got lost and cranky at the conductor. Any way one day this man missed his station so he jumped out the window, and got ran over by the buses rear wheel. 

Now the conductor was in trouble, they took him away to jail and he was sentenced to get the electric chair. 

They asked him if he wanted any last thing, he said “I wouldn’t mind a Bosc Pear” so they went looking for this pear, they finally found this Bosc Pear. They gave it to the bad conductor that was in the electric chair, after he ate it they turned the power on but the conductor just sat they not even yelling. 

After they stopped it he was still alive, they got the chair checked by the best electrician in Australia.

After he checked it and said, it was fine now. They strapped the conductor back into it and asked him if he wanted any last things before he died, he said “I wouldn’t mind another one of those Bosc Pears, so they went and got another one of this pear. 

After he ate it, they strapped him in and started it up, still the conductor didn’t die, this was so weird. They asked him “Does this Bosc Pear give people life” the conductor said “No I just like those Pears, I didn’t die because I’m a bad conductor”.

There are the stories.

Hope you like them.